There was a young girl of Peru 
               Who had nothing whatever to do, 
                    So she sat on the stairs 
                    And counted cunt hairs--- 
               Four thousand, three hundred, and two. 



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1 


A morbid young lady named Jean 
               Was known as the Masochist Queen. 
                    She used thistles and cacti 
                    In pursuit of her practi, 
               In a manner both odd and obscene. 



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2 


A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 



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3 


On the plains of north-central Tibet 
               They've thought of the strangest thing yet: 
                    On the ass of a camel 
                    They pour blue enamel, 
               And bugger the beast while it's wet. 



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4 


Here's to old King Montezuma, 
               For fun he would bugger a puma. 
                    The puma in play 
                    Clawed both balls away--- 
               How's that for animal humor? 



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5