The voice from the UFO cried,
"To the smartest we'll give a free ride!"
Several men volunteered,
But the ship disappeared
With a whale and two dolphins inside. 



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1 


A renowned archaeologist Vern,
Who unearthed an Egyptian clay urn,
Found himself devastated
When the markings, translated,
Clearly read, "No Refill/No Return." 



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2 


"Can't you see where this is all leading,
This nightmare of selective breeding ?"
He spat on the ground
And then turned around
And continued on with his weeding. 



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3 


There was a young man who preferred 
               Having sex with some kind of a bird. 
                    The rarer the species, 
                    And the fuller of feces, 
               The better---that guy really loved turd. 



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4 


A company of Grenadier Guards 
               While traversing the park, formed in squads, 
                    Saw two naked statues 
                    At three-quarter pratt views, 
               Which perceptibly stiffened their rods. 



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5