If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and
Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one 
would win?

Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that 
harass is one word.



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1 


One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom 
asked him how his day went. He said, "We're learning 
about sexual education." She smiled, and said, "At 
least he's learning something usefull." Billy went up 
to his room. A little later, Billy's mom went up to his 
room to call him down to dinner. She opens his door and 
sees him jerking off. She says, "Billy, when you're 
done with your homework, supper's on the table."





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2 


A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were 
asked if they would ever sleep with President 
Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'



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3 


Why is the government like a prostitute?

                                 Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!



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4 


There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot
summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big
bundle of wire.
"Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that wire?"
"Well," the kid drawls, "this here ain't just any ol' wire, this here's
chicken wire -- I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!"
"You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back at
the end of the day and sure enough, he's got a whole mess of chickens
caught in his chicken wire. 
Well, the farmer's sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kid
comes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. 
"Hey kid!" the farmer yells. "Where ya goin' with that tape?" "Well, this
here ain't just any ol' tape, this here's duck tape -- I'm fixin' to catch
me some ducks!"
"You can't catch ducks with duck tape!" the farmer yells back. "Sure I
can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back at the end
of the day and again, the farmer can't believe his eyes. The kid had a
whole bunch of ducks all wrapped up tightly in his tape. 
The next day the farmer's sitting on his porch again, and the kid comes
walking down the road carrying a stick. 
"Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that stick?"
"Well, this here ain't just any old stick, this here's pussy willow."

"Hang on," the farmer says, "I'll get my hat." 



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5