When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several
bystanders ran over to help the driver. A women was the first to reach the
victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. 'Step aside, lady,' he
barked. 'I've taken a course in first-aid!' The women watched for a few
minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder. 'Pardon me,' she said. 'But when
you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here.'



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1 


A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she
say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"



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2 


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream
on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mommy?"
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing
the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"



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3 


A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend
had proposed but she had turned him down because she found
out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.
"Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the two
of us, we'll show him just how *wrong* he is."



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4 


A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the
driver--"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"



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5