Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in 
walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat.
Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last week and
we all got rat-arsed."
Being quick on the uptake the second one says, " My dad says he will marry
my mum next year."
Despite this the Nun stays right where she is.
In desperation the third one says, " My old man will never ever marry my
mum."
The Nun looks up from her food and says, " Would one of you bastards 
please pass the salt."



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1 


Name something a duck can do, that a doctor won't.

Stick his bill up his ass.



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2 


Q.  What do pub landlords say in Kosovo at chucking out time?

A.  "Come on you lot, have you not got any homes to go to?"



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3 


Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and 
son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the 
car.
The only thing he said was, "F.F."
His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."
Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."
She responded simply, "E.F."
He repeated, "F.F."
She again replied, "E.F."
"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled.
"What's going on?"
Bad Bernie answered,
"Your mother wants to eat first!"



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4 


Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. Suddenly
Clinton grabs Hillary by the
collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned
umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President!
I said, Throw the first PITCH!"



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5