A car breaks down along the expressway one day, so the driver 
eases it over onto the shoulder of the highway. He jumps out of 
the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in trench coats. 

The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start 
exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. This results in one
of the worst pile-ups in history.

When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the 
side of the road, the man replied, "I broke down and was just 
using my emergency flashers!"



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1 


Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched 
backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. "One 
thing about Jim," his buddy said to the bartender, "he knows 
when to stop."



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2 


Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then 
when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and 
have his shoes.



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3 


As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, 
"And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a 
minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"



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4 


How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.



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5