A man is driving down the road for a long period of time. During his travel, he sees a priest with a gas can hitch hiking, so he gladly picks him up he says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch hikers. You seem like a man of dignity so i thought id make an exception. In fact i hate hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on Along the way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty son of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the hit and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests yells,"Don't worry i got him with the gas can!" Sent by Rob Send this joke to a friend 1 One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was a thermous. What does the thermous do? It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. So she bought one. The blonde brought it to work one day and the blondes boss who also is a blonde said what is that thing? It is a thermous the first blonde said. What does it do? Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. What do you have in it? I have coffee and a popcycle in it. Sent by Tom Send this joke to a friend 2 One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says, "I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you something else." So clinton takes the perscription and takes the pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in 3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says,"Rub this around the offending circle and come back tomorrow. Clinton returns the next day and starts shouting, "Wow! That stuff was terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!" The docter then calmly replied; Lipstick remover. Sent by Bradley Send this joke to a friend 3 The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and asked them to vote on a method of determining each General's early retirement bonus. After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to measure between and then each man would be paid $10,000 per inch. They called in the first General. He decide to have them measure from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. Upon measuring it to 6 feet, they paid him $720,000. The next General, thinking a little bit more, stretched his arms above his head, and asked them to measure from the tips of his fingers, to the bottom of his feet. After measuring 8 feet, they paid him $960,000. The next General, with a smug look on his face, asked them to measure from the tip of his penis to the bottom of his balls. Congress decided to call in a medical officer. The medical officer asked the General to drop his pants. The medical officer lifted the General's penis to make the measurement, but instead he exclaimed, "Good God man, where are your balls!!" With a smile the General said, "I left them in Vietnam." Sent by Sparky and Wife Send this joke to a friend 4 Another yamamma... Your mamma is so fat when god said let there be light he asked her to step out of the way Sent by tuna fish Send this joke to a friend 5
