Once in a diner, I wanted a Ham &  Tomato toasted
sandwich.  After about 10 minutes the waitress came back
and apologized.  "We don't have Ham and Tomato toasted
sandwiches but you can have the  'Special'."  I asked
what was in the Special.  "Ham, Tomato, Cheese . . . "





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1 


I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic.
Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over
to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing
65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear
view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I look away for
a couple seconds and when I look back she's halfway
over in my lane. Scared me so bad I dropped my
electric shaver in my coffee." 



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2 


Seen in a Maine restaurant: 

     "Open 7 days a week and weekends." 



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3