"It's tupperware. Of course it exists. We only wish it didn't."
                        -- Kez Bartsch




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1 


"While I was doing this, a neighbor walked up, and I just want to say that if
 you think it's easy to explain why you're squatting in your driveway, in
 front of a set of burning underwear, surrounded by hair spray bottles,
 holding a Barbie doll in your hand, then you are mistaken."
                        -- Dave Barry




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2 


"Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
 only to get screwed in the end."
                        -- From Ross Williams' FunList




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3 


"Succesful rewiring of the network, but now the Mac won't print.
 Film at 11."
                        -- Lars Rasmussen, in alt.sysadmin.recovery




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4 


"I remember the last thing my grandfather said to me... in fact the last
 thing he ever said... he said 'Paul, give me back my pills'..."
                        -- Paul McDermott, DAAS "Dead and Alive"




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5