"Will administer ISO 9000 and year 2000 certification tests for food."
                        -- Simon Slavin




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1 


"Thanks For Using My Yahoo!"
                        -- Ashvin Patel, employee of Yahoo!




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2 


"... and 9% of people said that they were a small orange cube of wood, and
 that they fully supported the Government's view on education..."
                        -- Alexei Sayle, "Alexei Sayle's Stuff"




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3 


"Is that a near-death experience?"
"No that's a nipple..."
                        -- Damien Day, Sarah Brown




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4 


"Next to is good. Near is good. Just not _on_... _don't_ generalise that
 comment."
                        -- Alasdair




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5