This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and
living in South America.  He managed to wrangle a 'once-in-a-lifetime'
interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where
Hitler was living.  He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it
was Adolf Hitler, looking very old.  He interviewed him, asking him all
sorts of questions, and as a final question, asked "What are you doing now,
in the twilight of your life?"

Hitler replied "Hah!  Twilight of my life!  I'll have you know that I am
secretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America!  This
time we'll do it right.  We have a foolproof plan - this time we will kill
EVERY JEW in the world - and 6 MEXICANS!!!".

The journalist asked  "...but...but....but why 6 MEXICANS??"

Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled "SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES A
SHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!"





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1 


Age        HOUSE PET

        17         Muffy the cat
        25         Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
        35         Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
        48         Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
        66         Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs
                    Muffy the Cat





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2 


Age        WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
        17         17
        25         25
        35         35
        48         48
        66         66





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3 


Age        IDEAL DATE
        17         He offers to pay
        25         He pays
        35         He cooks breakfast the next morning
        48         He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
        66         He can chew breakfast





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4 




A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her
expanding backside. He commented, "Boy, your ass is getting big.almost as
big as the gas grill here." She angrily stomped across the yard, and he
followed saying, "Yep, that thing is getting huge." At this, the wife
retreated to the far side of the yard. Soon he approached with a tape
measure, acquired the width, and exclaimed, "It IS as big as the gas
grill!"

Later that night when they were in bed, the husband started making moves on
his wife. She just turned away. "C'mon, honey," he said, "what's wrong?"
Her cold reply was, "I'm not firing up this grill for just one little
weiner!"



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5