One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor,
to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god you
look so depressed. 
She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me...six
dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I'm going to have to
spend this whole weekend on my back with my legs spread. 
Now that's really silly, why don't you use a vase? 



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1 


Q. Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?

A. Because she found out what the big boys eat. 



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2 


It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,
were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caught
between towns during a driving snow storm.
The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finally
slid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby.
They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a short
conversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able to
convince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in.
She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe and
Morey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing.
Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest room
for Abe and Morey.
The next day about 10:00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfully
pulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road.
Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds.
Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by some
chance, happened to have drifted down the hall to the wodow Brown's
bedroom after he (Abe) had gone to sleep. After a little hemming and
hawing, Morey admitted he had. With a little further prodding, he
admitted that he had given the good lady Abe's name, address and phone
number as his own.
Where upon Abe said, "That explains this letter from her lawyer saying
she has left her entire estate to me!" 



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3 


What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?

Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch... 



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4 


There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer.
Up walks a so called "lady of the night". She
says, "For $300.00, I'll do anything you want."
Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says:

Ok. Paint my house, bitch! 



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5