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Today's stories[8.27.02]

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A LITTLE-KNOWN CHRISTMAS FACT: One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Sent by Neicey
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My cousin Denney came to visit from the farm last summer. I asked how his bus ride was and he said he had a good ride except for a rude lady he encountered. I asked what the problem was, and he said that when the lady got on there were no seats left, so he offered her his seat. She declined since she was only riding for a short distance. However, while she was standing with her butt right in his face, he noticed her dress was caught up in her crack. He decided to be nice and help her so he pulled it out. Well, she turned around and wopped him hard enough to turn his lights out! Then I asked him what he did then? And Denney said that since she was that rude, he poked the dress right back in there!
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Why we proofread: ATLANTA (AP) Coca-Cola is fixing an embarrassing typo in the word "disk'' in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of the drink. In the misprint, the "s'' is replaced by a "c.'' Normally, the small type under the copyright information states that the "red disk icon and contour bottle are trademarks of the Coca-Cola Co.''
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