"Then again, what should we expect from the makers of 'Stargate'? Finesse
 is not exactly their strong point. Sure, they're pretty good at blowing up
 stuff, but what four-year-old isn't? When it comes time for an important
 plot twist their solution is to look at each other and scream 'ALIEN MIND
 MELD!' like dorks at a Star Trek Convention."
                        -- Mr. Cranky,
                                http://internet-plaza.net/zone/mrcranky/




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1 


"Whip me! Beat me! Make me light and fluffy!"
                        -- Ben Salmon




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2 


"A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his
 morning meal.
 'I would like to give you this personality test', said the outsider,
 'because I want you to be happy.'
 Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster,
 saying: 'I wish the toaster to be happy, too.'"
                        -- AI Koans, from the Jargon File,
                                http://www.ccil.org/jargon/




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3 


"Since all the Heaven's Gates members were discovered wearing Nike sneakers,
 do you think Nike might change their slogan to 'Maybe You Should Think
 About It'?"
                        -- Scott Adams, DNRC Newsletter 14.0




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4 


"The bend/break rule of comedy is clearly violated here as director
 David O. Russell snaps his humor twig and tries to kill us with it."
                        -- Mr. Cranky,
                                http://internet-plaza.net/zone/mrcranky/




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5