There was a young man from Venice 
            Who played a good game of lawn tennis. 
                But the game he liked best, 
                Far more than the rest, 
            Was played with two balls and a pennis. 



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1 


There was a young lady from Slough 
            Who said that she didn't know how. 
                Then a young fellow caught her 
                And jolly well taught her; 
            She lodges in Pimlico now. 



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2 


There once was wee lad called Marvin 
            Who thought his big dick was for carvin' 
                He tried to cut slices 
                Of "Turkey with spices" 
            And left all his dining guests starvin'. 



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3 


There was a young girl from nace 
            Whose corset just would not lace. 
                Her mother said, "Nellie, 
                There's more in your belly 
            Than ever went in through your face." 



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4 


A young Juliet of St. Louis 
            On a balcony stood, acting screwy. 
                Her Romeo climbed, 
                But he wasn't well timed, 
            And half-way up, off he went---blooey! 



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5