My wife is an amorous soul On fire for an African's pole. She told a coon chauffeur That he was her gopher--- And, say, did he go for her hole! Send this poem to a friend 1 Alas for a preacher named Hoke, Whose shit was all stuck in his poke. He farted a blast That left hearers aghast, But nothing emerged but some smoke. Send this poem to a friend 2 Van Gogh found a whore who would lay, And accept a small painting as pay. "Vive l' Art!" cried Van Gogh, "But it's too fucking slow--- I wish I could paint ten a day!" Send this poem to a friend 3 There was a young girl from Sofire. Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?" Send this poem to a friend 4 Modern Love Poem A Trite Redundant Poem With a Laughable Excuse For a Structure Addressed To Absolutely No One in Particular and Whose Only Redeeming Value is That It's Short a.k.a. A Modern Love Poem My dearest darling with long dark hair and eyes azure, My love for you is eternal, tried, and sure. I stare into the infinite depths of your eyes, But I often find my gaze directed at your thighs. Everyone appreciates your unsurpassed beauty and grace, Your perfect supple form and enchanting face. Some say beauty is fleeting, and boy do I agree. Your personality sucks, so when you're 40, with you I will not be. My sweet, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... One...uh...one...hmm...number one...gimme a chance... how about the way your body sways? Let me once more restate my love for you. 65% of the time, to you I'm true. There is no other woman with whom I lay, At least, not at this particular time of day. My dear, you're absolutely the best. How 'bout accompanying me to the next Centralfest? (That is, unless I don't have another date) The events that brought us together must have been fate. I love you, I love you, I love you. You're the greatest, Jenny, I mean Cherry, I mean Sue. Send this poem to a friend 5
