Studly young Romeo and his dimwitted college sidekick are
perched near the front door of the girls' dorm. Several
plain Janes walk by as the two converse.

Then a Sharon Stone look-alike emerges from the dorm and
saunters past. Romeo turns, smiles, and -- barely audibly
-- inquires, "Tickle your ass with a feather?"

The young beauty -- startled by what she thinks she heard
-- exclaims "What?!" Without missing a beat, Romeo repeats
"Typical nasty weather?" "Oh," she demures, "yes," and goes
on her way.

More young lovelys walk by and the scene is repeated.
"Tickle your ass with a feather?" "What?" 
"Typical nasty weather?"

Finally, Romeo delivers his line,
"Tickle your ass with a feather?" and his prospect stops,
smiles and invites him up to her room.

Now the sidekick, alone, having paid close attention,
decides to try this remarkable new technique. A likely
prospect comes near. The sidekick leers and blurts out,
"Cram a feather up your ass?"

Shocked, the girl spins around and slaps him, to which
he replies, "Looks like rain!" 



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1 


Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the
weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest
explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few
paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What
landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the
circle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same,
except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest
and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money
into the air and what god wants, god takes." 



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2 


A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and
said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will
surely die". 

  1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send
    him off to work in a good mood.

  2.At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and
    put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back
    to work.

  3.For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't
    burden him with household chores.

  4.Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy
    his every whim. 

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor
had told her.

"You're going to die," she replied. 



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3 


One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost.
For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out.
He had not eaten anything during this period and was
famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle,
killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly a couple of
park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and
arrested him for killing an endangered species.

At court, he plead innocent to the charges against him
claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would
have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor.
In the judges closing statement he asked the man, "I
would like you to tell me something before I let you go.
I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it.
What did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well,
it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a
spotted owl." 



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4 


Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested
at the airport for drug smuggling?

It seems she bent over and someone saw fifty
pounds of crack.... 



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5