On a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Davis became extremely queasy due
to motion sickness.She make her way to the restroom,only to find it
locked.She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to
fight off the nausea.  Unsuccessfully, she rolled her head to the right
and threw up on the lap of a man who was dozing and who was therefore
unaware of what had happened.
When the fellow awoke, he was shocked to find himself covered in vomit.
Turning to him, Mrs.Davis said, "There now, are you feeling better?"!




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1 


A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having
a little chat.  "How are you, Tom?" asked Marvin.
"I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a
muscle and it's killing me."
"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though."
"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times...."




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2 


The huge black dude was getting ready for the electric chair -
he had been found guilty of rape and murder.  The witnesses to
the execution were astonished when the prisoner's pant leg was
cut and a tiny electrode was prepared to be placed on his penis.
"Hey don't look so surprised" the condemned man said.
"Yours would shrink and shrivel up too it you were about to be zapped!"





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3 


The subway car was packed.  It was rush hour, and many people were
forced to stand.  One particularly cramped woman turned to the man
behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing,
I'm going to the cops!"
"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check
in my pocket."
"Oh really" she spat."then you must have some job,
because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."





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4 


Could this herald the return of our resident wise man, Cunning Lin Gus?

Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea.
"I call my man 'Eight,' " said the first woman, "Because he's got
 eight inches, and we do it eight times a day."
The second woman said in response, "I call my man 'Ten'because his dong
is ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night."
The first woman then asked the third woman "What do you call your man?"
She answered " 'Creme de Menthe.' "
"Why?  Isn't' that a liqueur?" the other two wanted to know.
"Yep, it is," said the woman, continuing, "yeah, you betcha!"





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5