On a very cold winter night, three homeless men huddled up close
 to keep warm. In the morning, the guy on the right says, "I had a
 dream that someone was pulling on my dick."
The guy on the left says, "I also had a dream that someone was  pulling on my dick."
"The guy in the middle says, "I had a dream that I went skiing."




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1 


This joke sucks....

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his
wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.  The wife turns over and
says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I
want to stay fresh."  The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.  
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.  This time
he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"




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2 


No lawyers allowed- Prosecutors will be violated!

 If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one of
them, would you read the paper or go to lunch?




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3 


A horse and a rabbit 

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but
the farmer can't be found. He drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the
mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the
other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the
horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my dick and pull
yourself up." And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a
Mercedes!




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4 


A blond at a party was telling her friend that
she was off men for life. "They lie, they cheat
and they're just no good. From now on when I want
sex, I'm going to use my vibrator"

"So, what when the batteries run out?" asked her friend

"I'll just fake an orgasm like always."




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5