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Today's quotes[7.30.02]

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I can't believe it happened. The other day I jogged backward and put on eight pounds!
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VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
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Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
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The first thing I do after opening a bar of Ivory soap is to scrape off the .0056 part that's impure. I mean, who wants to wash themselves with that crap?
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.
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