Oh, that supple young man of Montrose 
               Who tickled his tail with his toes! 
                    His landlady said, 
                    As she made up his bed, 
               "My God! How that man blows his nose!" 



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1 


There was a young man from Montrose 
               Who could diddle himself with his toes. 
                    He did it so neat 
                    He fell in love with his feet, 
               And christened them Myrtle and Rose



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2 


There was a young lady of Spain 
Who took down her pants on a train. 
There was a young porter 
Saw more than he orter, 
And asked her to do it again. 



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3 


There was a young man in Hong Kong 
               Who grew seven fathoms of prong. 
                    It looked, when erect, 
                    About as you'd expect--- 
               When coiled it did not seem so long. 



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4 



               "Last night," said a lassie named Ruth, 
               "In a long-distance telephone booth, 
                    I enjoyed the perfection 
                    Of an ideal connection--- 
               I was screwed, if you must know the truth." 



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5