Why, oh why, does this happen to me?
How did I end up stuck in this tree?
The ground down below looks so far away,
That if I would fall it would take me all day
To hit the ground, with a thud and a thunk.
And knowing my luck I'd land on a skunk.
So here I will sit 'til my dying day.
Or maybe, at least, 'til that bear goes away. 



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1 


The wife of young Richard of Limerick 
               Complained to her hesband, "My quim, Rick, 
                    Still grows in diameter 
                    Each time that you ram at her; 
               How can your poor tool stay so slim, Rick?" 



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2 


The bustard's a fortuitous fowl, 
               Who has but small reason to growl. 
                    He avoids illigitemacy 
                    By the simple expediency 
               Of the use of an alternate vowel. 



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3 


There was a young cowboy named Gary 
               Who was morbidly anxious to marry, 
                    But he found the defection 
                    Of any erection 
               A difficuly factor to parry. 



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4 


There was a young Georgian named Lynd 
               Who'd never in all his life sinned, 
                    For whenever he'd start 
                    He'd be jarred by a fart, 
               And his semen was gone with the wind. 



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5