There once was a man named MacBride 
               Who fell in a privy and died. 
                    He had a young brother, 
                    Who fell in another, 
               And now they're interred (in turd) side by side. 



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1 



               There once was a boring young Reverend 
               Who preached till it seemed he would never end. 
                    His hearers, en masse, 
                    Got a pain in the ass, 
               And prayed--- for relief of their nether end. 



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2 


There was a young miss from Johore 
               Who'd lie on a mat on the floor; 
                    In a manner uncanny 
                    She'd wobble her fanny, 
               And drain your nuts dry to the core. 



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3 


A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket 
               Had a hole as big as a basket. 
                    A spot, as a bride, 
                    In it now, you could hide, 
               And include with your luggage your mascot. 



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There was a young man of Datchet 
               Who cut off his prick with a hatchet. 
                    Then very politely 
                    He sent it to Whitely, 
               And ordered a cunt that would match it. 

               "There is a young girl here at Vassar 
               And none, for your needs, could surpass her. 
                    But she cannot detach it 
                    And much less dispatch it. 
               You'll still have to bach it. Alas, sir!" 



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5