Nymphomaniacal Alice 
               Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. 
                    They found her vagina 
                    In North Carolina, 
               And her asshole in Buckingham Palace. 



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1 


A phenomenal fellow named Preston 
               Has a hair-padded lower intestine. 
                    Though exceedingly fine 
                    In the buggery line, 
               It isn't much good for digestin'. 



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2 


A Biblical party called Ham 
               Cried, "Cuss it, I don't give a damn! 
                    My father's yard measure 
                    I view with great pleasure, 
               Such a bloody great battering ram!" 



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3 


There was a young man in Norway, 
               Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, 
                    But the air was so frigid 
                    It froze his balls rigid, 
               And all he could come was frappe. 



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4 



               There was a young man of St. Giles 
               Who'd walked thousands and thousands of miles, 
                    From the Cape of Good Hope, 
                    Just to bugger the Pope, 
               But he couldn't---the pontiff had piles. 



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5