On the eve of the couple's tenth wedding anniversary, the still slim
   wife was bragging about her figure. "You know honey," she said, "I can
   still get into the skirts I had before we were married."
   
   "Yeah ?" the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the
   ball game on TV. "I wish to hell I could."




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1 



   I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
   It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there:
   
                     They have no wife to go home to...
                                or they do.




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2 



   The American in Hong Kong was talking to his wife one evening over
   supper. "Get this..." he chuckled, "That ridiculous janitor of ours
   claims he's made love to every woman in the building except one."
   
   "Hmmmmmmmmm," said his wife, assuming a thoughtful faraway type
   expression, "must be that stuck-up Mrs. Stewart on the eighth floor."




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3 



   But let's get real here guys, I mean who exactly are we kidding ? A
   husband controls his wife in much the same manner as a barometer
   controls the weather.




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4 



   A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to
   his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
   
   Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to
   say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?




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5