There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of
   control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a
   while, one of the first two turned to the third and sez "Well...  what
   about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife ?"
   
   "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her
   hands and knees." he bragged and took another sip of beer.
   
   His friends were amazed ! "What happened then ?" they asked, almost in
   unison.
   
   "Well, then she said, 'Get the hell out from under that bed and fight
   like a man !' " he admitted.




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1 



   On their honeymoon night, the burly groom took off his pants and asked
   his bride to put them on. The waist alone was twice her body.
   
   She said, "I can't wear your pants."
   
   "That's right," intoned the groom, "And don't you forget it. I'm the
   one who wears the pants in the family."
   
   The bride took off her panties and asked her husband to try it on.
   
   "No way. I can't get into your panties." he said.
   
   "That's right. And that's the way it'll be until you change your
   attitude." she said and smiled.




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2 


Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that
   as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the
   house.
   
   Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.




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3 



   We have a young married couple in the neighborhood who are truly
   inseparable. Last week, it took four Howard County Policemen and a
   dog.




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4 



   Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's
   better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won ?




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5