A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together,
   "Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonite."
   
   The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all
   replies, "An elephant".
   
   The wife sez "That's close enough!"




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1 



   Tell ya what though, I don't have it nearly as rough as one of my
   neighbors. When he attends a wife swapping party, he has to throw in
   the maid, and a mistress to be named later.




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2 



   A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
   The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making
   love ?"
   
   She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I
   mean he has a cell phone and all now."




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3 



   I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
   always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've
   heard men refer to their "performance". Well, even these days I don't
   have a lot of trouble with that.
   
   But... since I'm now past fifty, the "encores" are getting tuffer and
   tuffer.




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4 



   I'm not saying that my wife was naive when we got married,
   
   but... she thought "kinky sex" involved her wearing hair curlers to
   bed.




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5