Well the King's daughter was into her mid twenties,
and the king didn't want his princess to be an old maid.
The princess wasn't the most beautiful of women, and
wasn't having any luck finding a suitable husband. The
King finally decided to take matters into his own hand.

He had flyers printed up and posted all over the kingdom,
"who so ever wishes to marry the princess should appear at the
castle at noon, the following Sunday."

Only three suitors arrived at the castle. The king decided
to have a test to determine who would get his daughter's hand.
Each suitor would have to climb the castle wall, swim the moat,
and then have sex with one of the castle's cows. 

The first suitor didn't even make it over the wall.
The second suitor made it over the wall, but couldn't swim the moat.
The third suitor, climbed the wall, swam the moat, fucked the cow,
and wasn't even tired.
The king went up to him, and said "Congratulations, you are the only
one worthy enough to marry my daughter."
And the suitor replied, "Forget your daughter, I want your cow!" 



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1 


How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant? 

     He forgot to wrap his whopper. 



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2 


There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.
One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.
He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucket
please?"
The assistant asked"Pardon sir?".
"Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. 
"Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.
The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for his
bucket and went into the antique shop. 

In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -
"Can I have a cock please?" 
The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?". 
The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?" 
The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir." 
So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. 

The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and
asked "Can I have a bum please?" 
The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?". 
So he repeated himself "Can I have a bum please?". 
The assistant said " Oh right, you mean a bun!". 
The old man said "Yes that's what I said in the first place."
So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop. 

As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to
him and asked "Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?"
The man replied "Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while
I get my cock out." 



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3 


This old lady walks out of the grocery store and goes to the bus stop.
An old guy is sitting in the parking lot in his car. He drives over and
says he'll give her a ride home.
On the way he looks her over and says "You're a pretty good looking old
broad. I'll pay you ten bucks for a piece of ass".
She says "What???!!!". But then thinks that the old age check isn't due
for 5 more days, so she agrees.
They are lying on the bed after its over having the usual smoke and he
says to her "Geez if I had known that you were a virgin I would have
offered you $20.00!" 
She looks back at him and says "If I had know you could get it up I would
have taken off my pantyhose!" 



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4 


Did you hear about that guy who was tap dancing?

He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink. 



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5