The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys." I told my wife that I would be home by midnight...promise! Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted. Sent by Inna Send this story to a friend 1 IDIOTS AT WORK I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched. Send this story to a friend 2 IDIOTS IN SERVICE This week, all our phones went dead and I had to call the phone repair people. They promised to be out between 8 a.m. and 7 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window,he asked and I quote, "Would you like us to call before we come?" He also requested that we report future outages by email. Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?????? Send this story to a friend 3