Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
   But when take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
         Steve Bluestone




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1 


I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you
   must eat it with naked fat people.
         Ed Bluestone




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2 


Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long
   enough to get money from it
         Stephen Leacock




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3 


I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I
   wanna know your name"
         Mike Binder




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4 


They think they can make fuel from horse manure... Now I don't know if
   your car will be able to get thirty miles to the gallon, but it's sure
   gonna put a stop to siphoning.
         Billie Holliday




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5