I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair
   under my arms instead.
         Sue Kolinsky




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1 


I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
         Carol Leifer




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2 


You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
   miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
   the hell she is.
         Ellen DeGeneris




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3 


Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
   anyone going faster than you is a moron.
         George Carlin




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4 


Everything is drive-through. In California they even have a burial
   service called Jump-In-The-Box.
         Wil Shriner




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5