There was a young fellow named Bream 
               Who never had dreamt a wet dream, 
                    For when lacking a whore 
                    He'd just bore out the core 
               Of an apple an fuck it through cream. 



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1 



               A girl attending Bryn Mawr 
               Committed a dreadful faux pas. 
                    She loosened a stay 
                    In her decollete, 
               Exposing her je-ne-sais-quoi 



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2 



               There was a young man of Manhasset 
               Whose life seemed excessively placid. 
                    One day, just for fun, 
                    He raped an old nun, 
               And filled up her crevice with acid. 



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3 


A bad little girl in Madrid, 
               A most reprehensible kid, 
                    Told her Auntie Louise 
                    That her cunt smelled like cheese, 
               And the worst of it was that it did! 



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4 



               An innocent boy in Lapland 
               Was told that friggin' was grand. 
                    But at his first trial 
                    He said with a smile, 
               "I've had the same feeling by hand." 



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5