The last time I dined with the King 
               He did quite a curious thing: 
                    He sat on a stool 
                    And took out his tool, 
               And said, "If I play, will you sing?" 



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1 



               A lady who lives in Madras 
               Has a truly magnificent ass. 
                    It is not round and pink, 
                    As you probably think, 
               But is grey, has long ears, and eats grass.



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2 



               There was a young girl of East Anglia 
               Whose loins were a tangle of ganglia. 
                    Her mind was a webbing 
                    Of Freud and Kraft-Ebing 
               And all sorts of other mew-fanglia. 



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3 



               There was a young lady from France 
               Supposed to play at a dance, 
                    She ate a banana 
                    And played the piano 
               And music came out of her pants. 



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4 



               There was a young man of the Tweed 
               Who sucked his wife's arse thro' a reed. 
                    When she had diarrhoea 
                    He'd let none come near, 
               For fear they should poach on his feed. 



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5