What makes a man think he's so great ? 1) He has a belly button that won't work. 2) He has tits that won't give milk. 3) He has a cock that won't crow. 4) He has balls that won't roll. 5) He has an ass that won't carry a thing. Send this joke to a friend 1 Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you." "What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?" "45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel. "Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate." "Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disspeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..." Send this joke to a friend 2 Woman walks into her psychiatrists office and says: "Hey doc, you know how we have been talking about freudian slips? Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my mother, and I meant to say, "please pass the salt," but instead I said, "You god damn bitch, you ruined my life." Send this joke to a friend 3 What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg ? 1) You only get laid once. 2) You only get eaten once. 3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water. 4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys. 5) The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother. Send this joke to a friend 4 What's so great about being a dick ? 1) You've got a head with no brains. 2) Two nuts follow you around all day. 3) Your neighbor is an asshole. 4) Your best friend is a cunt ! Send this joke to a friend 5