Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?

     - Neither did he. 



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1 



   Buckwheat Lets the Cat Outta the Bag
   One day the little rascals were sitting in school. The teacher walked
   in, and said, "good
   morning class. Today we are going to play word games. I'm going to
   give you a word and
   I want you to put it in a sentence for me." She said "Spanky you're
   first. Your word is
   football." Spanky stood up and proudly said " I threw the football,"
   and sat down.
   The teacher said "very good Spanky." Then the teacher said, "Darla,
   you're next. Your
   word is pretty." Darla stood up and said, " I think I'm very pretty!"
   Then she sat down.
   Then the teacher called on Buckwheat. She said, "Buckwheat, you're
   next. Your word is
   dictate." Buckwheat stood up looked at Arial, and said, "Hey Darla!
   How'd my dic tate las
   nigh?
   




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2 


The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said:
"Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult
you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that
I had mentioned you in my will."

"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and
then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd
like to make a little change..." 



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3 



   The Young Man's Big Mouth
   A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says
   the condoms
   come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
   "Well," he said, "I've
   been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the
   condoms because I think
   tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then
   we're going out. And
   I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me,
   she'll want me all the
   time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his
   purchaseand leaves.
   Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her
   parents. He asks if he
   might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but
   continues praying for
   several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that
   you were such a
   religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me
   that your father is a
   pharmacist."
   




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4 


What's blue and sings alone?

     - Dan Ackroyd. 



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5