Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
   -- Chicago Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"




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1 


The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this
   century's history...We all lived in this century. I didn't live in
   this century.
   -- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential
   candidate during a news conference in which he was asked his opinion
   of the Holocaust




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2 


Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be
   discontinued... Reason: it has been reported to our office that you
   expired on January 1, 1976.
   -- Letter from the Illinois Department of Public Aid




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3 


Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
   in the country.
   -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.




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4 


I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
   -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward




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5