Razors pains you,
Rivers are damp;
Acids stains you'
And drugs cause cramps.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses gives;
Gases smells awful,
You might as well live.

         ---Anon



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1 


There once was a hobo named Bob,
he likes to eat corn on the cob.
He lives in a box,
has holes in his socks,
And likes to eat pork flavour beans.
He sleeps on a bench in the park,
all by himself in the dark.
He sits on the ground
and acts kinda strange,
holds out his hand 
and grumbles "spare change?"

Sent by Candy



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2 


roses are red
violets are corney
when i think of you
oh baby i ged horney
eat me
beat me
bite me
blow me
suck me
fuck me
very slowly
if you kiss me dont be sassy
you your tongue and make is nasty



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3 


There once was a man named Sweenie,
 who spilled some gin on his weenie.
 So just to be couth,
 he spilled some vermouth.
 And then slipped his girl a Martini.



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4 


To the tune of 'Yesterday':

Leprocy, bits and pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh I contracted Leprocy.




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5