A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?" The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth." The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asks. The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall." Send this joke to a friend 1 Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either." Send this joke to a friend 2 UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM ____________________University To: Professor____________________ From:___________________________ I think my grade in your course,___________________, should be changed from ______ to _______ for the following reasons: ______1. The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did. ______2. The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did. ______3. This course will lower my Grade Point Average and I won't get into: ______Medical School ______Graduate School ______Dental School ______My Fraternity/Sorority ______The Mickey Mouse Club ______Tri County Tech ______4. I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in _______________. ______5. I'll lose my scholarship. ______6. I'm on a varsity sports team and my tutor couldn't find a copy of your exam. ______7. I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the materisal asked for on the exam. ______8. I studied the basic principles and the exam wanted every little fact. ______9. I learned all the facts and definitions but your exams asked about general principles. _____10. You are prejudiced against: ______Males ______Jews ______Blacks ______Females ______Catholics ______Whites ______Protestants ______Moslems ______Minorities ______Chicanos ______People ______Students _____11. If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance. _____12. I was unable to do well in this course because of the following illness: ______mono ______broken baby finger ______acute alcoholism ______pregnancy ______VD ______fatherhood _____13. You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done. _____14. I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull. _____15. I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade. _____16. The lectures were: ______too detailed to pick out important points ______not explained in sufficient detail ______too boring ______all jokes and not enough material ______all of the above _____17. This course was: ______too early, I was not awake. ______at lunchtime, I was hungry ______too late, I was tired _____18. My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, paper) for this course. _____19. Other___________________________________________________ Send this joke to a friend 3 Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami. They were discussing the fact that if they go for a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, they will get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girl walking out of the ocean. She reaches into the top of her swimsuit, pulls out a perfectly dry cigarette and book of matches and lights up. The ladies go up to the girl and ask, "How do you keep your cigarettes dry?" Her answer, "I put them inside of a condom." The women rush to a pharmacy and ask for a condom. When the pharmacist asks, "What size?" one of the ladies says, "It should fit a Camel." Send this joke to a friend 4 If IBM made toasters... They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters. Send this joke to a friend 5
