Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation
for veracity.
        
                      --Robert Ingersoll



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1 



        Vows begin when hope dies.
                
                           --Leonardo da Vinci





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2 


"I'll never get into a car that doesn't match my hat!"

                                                --Zsa Zsa Gabor 



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3 


Modern parents believe toilet training should be an easy and
casual affair.  Just let the child s*%# all over everything.  This
prepares him or her for a brilliant career as a talk show host.

                                                        --P.J. O'Rouke



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4 


"Kent put his name on his license plate."
"My mother does the same thing with my underware."
"Your mother puts license plates in your underware?"

                                    --Chris to Mitch in 'Real Genuis'





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5