There once was a man from Sutter,
Who used to jerk off in the gutter,
Till the tropical sun,
Played hell on his gun,
And turned all his cream into butter.



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1 


There once was a fellow named Clyde,
Who fell in an outhouse and died.
Along came his brother
Who fell in another,
And now they're interred side by side. 



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2 


There once was old Chinese drunk,
Who set sail away on his junk,
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
Till he floated away in the spunk. 



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3 


From a niche in the crypt at Saint Giles
Came a sound which resounded for miles.
"My goodness gracious,"
Said Father Ignatius.
"I forgot that the Bishop has piles."



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4 


There once was a girl of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam
"If you take me, of course,
You must do it by force
But, thank God, you're stronger than I am." 



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5