A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving
that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.
"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.
"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.
"No you weren't!" the trooper said.
With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,
'Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when
he's been drinking." 



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1 


How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
    
Shine a flashlight in her ear.



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2 


John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice
on the ot other end says, "This is Susan. We met a party
about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? about 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took
me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You
told me I was a good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."



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3 



    A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit
   hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the
   rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and
   was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
   pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had
   become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The
   driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the
   highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over.
   She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel
   terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed
   it." The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She
   went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to
   the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the
   rabbit. Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw
   at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 yards away the rabbit
   stopped, turned around, waved and hopped down the road, another 50
   yards, turned, waved and hopped another 50 yards. The man was
   astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the
   woman's spray can!! He ran over to the woman and asked, "What is in
   your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turned
   the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair
   spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."




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4 


Why doesn't Hillary wear short dress?

Her balls would show.



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5