There was a young rascal named James, 
            Who liked to play terrible games, 
                He lit up the front 
                Of his Grandmother's cunt 
            And laughed as she pissed through the flames! 



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1 


A nudist girl wearing three raisins 
            A masquerade prize was her goal. 
                The judges said, "Lookie, 
                From the front she's a cookie, 
            And the back she's a Parker House roll. 



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2 


There was a young man of Madras 
            Who was having a boy in the grass. 
                Then a cobra-capello 
                Said, "Hello, young fellow!" 
            And bit a piece out of his ass. 



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3 


There was an old sculptor named Phidias 
            Whose knowledge of art was invidious. 
                He carved Aphrodite 
                Without any nightie--- 
            Which startled the purely fastidious. 



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4 


The parish commission at Roylette 
            Bought their vicar a pristine new toilet. 
                But he still voids his bowels 
                On a heap of old towels, 
            He's so very reluctant to soil it. 



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5