There was a young man of Newminster Court 
            Bugger'd a pig, but his prick was too short. 
                Said the hog, "It's not nice, 
                But pray take my advice: 
            Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."



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1 


A lacklustre lady of Brougham 
            Weaveth all night at her loom. 
                Anon she doth blench 
                When her lord and his wench 
            Pull a chain in the neighboring room. 



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2 


There was an old gent from Kentuck 
            Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, 
                But he put it away 
                For fear that one day 
            He might put it in and get stuck. 



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3 


There was a young fellow named Goff 
            Whose amusement was jacking it off 
                He pulled it so hard 
                It stretched out a yard. 
            And turned to bright blue and fell off.



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4 


There was a young girl named Dalrymple 
            Whose sexual equipment was so simple 
                That on examination they found 
                Little more than a mound 
            In the center of which was a dimple. 



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5