There was an old man from Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
He awoke in a fright 
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.





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1 


"Now really, young man, you're a bore,"
Said a Lady Priscilla van Blore.
"I'm covered with sweat
And you haven't come yet
And my God - it is quarter past four!"



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2 


There was a Young Lady of Bute, 
Who played on a silver-gilf flute;
She played several jigs
To her uncle's white pigs,
That amusing Young Lady of Bute.



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3 


There was a Young Lady, whose chin
Resembled a point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased the harp.
And played several tunes with her chin




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4 


There was a young lady called Valerie
Who started to count every calory
Said her boss in disgust:
"If you lose half your bust
You'll be worth only half of your salary!"



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5