"At a seance," said a young man named Post, 
            "I was being sucked off by a ghost; 
                Someone switched on the lights 
                And there in guaze tights, 
            On his knees, was Tobias mine host."



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1 


There was a young lady from Munich 
            Who was had in a park by a eunuch. 
                In a moment of passion 
                He shot her a ration 
            From a squirt-gun concealed 'neath his tunic. 




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2 


There once was a fellow named Trete 
Who from birth was inclined to be neat. 
He became extra fussy 
When he thought his pants mussy, 
And would throw them away in the street. 



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3 


There was a young man of St. Paul's 
            Possessed the most useless of balls. 
                Till at last, at The Strand, 
                He managed a stand, 
            And tossed himself off in the stalls. 



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4 


A king sadly said to his queen, 
            "In parts you have grown far from lean." 
                "I don't give a damn, 
                You've always liked ham," 
            She replied, and he gasped, "How obscene!" 



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5