There was a young fellow in Buckingham. 
            Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them, 
                But later this work 
                Was eclipsed by a Turk 
            Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them. 



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1 


The bishop of Winchester Junction 
            Found his phallus would no longer function. 
                So in black crepe he wound it, 
                Tied a lily around it, 
            And solemnly gave it last unction. 



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2 


"Remind me, dear," said Sir John Keith, 
            "As soon as I've finished my teeth, 
                To take down this glass 
                And examine my ass 
            From behind---and of course from beneath." 



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3 


There once was a lady named Hix 
            Who was fond of sucking big pricks. 
                One fellow she took 
                Was a doctor named Snook, 
            Now he's in a hell of a fix. 



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4 


There was a young fellow from Lees 
            Who handled his tool with great ease. 
                This continual friction 
                Made his sex a mere fiction, 
            But the callus hangs down to his knees. 



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5