There was a young fellow named Oakum
               Whose brags about fucking were hokum, 
                    For he really preferred 
                    To suck cocks and stir turd--- 
               He was Queen of the Flits in Hoboken. 



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1 


There was an old man from Pinole 
               Who always got in the wrong hole, 
                    And when he withdrew, 
                    All covered with goo, 
               His temper was out of control. 



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2 


There was a young fellow named Fritz 
               Who planted a acre of tits. 
                    They came up in the fall, 
                    Pink nipples and all, 
               And he chewed them all up into bits. 



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3 


There was an old maid in Peru
               Who'd a dog and a cat and a gnu. 
                    From a sairlor named Harrot 
                    She bought an old parrot, 
               And he threw in a young cockatoo. 



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4 


There was a young girl of Cohoes
               Who jerked herself off with her nose. 
                    She said, "Yes, I done it, 
                    But just for the fun it 
               Afforded the folk of Cohoes." 



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5