There once was a fellow named Siegel 
               Who attempted to bugger a beagle, 
                    But the mettlesome bitch 
                    Turned and said with a twitch, 
               "It's fun, but you know it's illegal." 



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1 


Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; 
               Of all of the girls that I've had, 
                    None gave me the thrill 
                    Of real rapture until 
               I learned how to be a tribade." 



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2 


There was a young girl named Dalrymple 
               Whose sexual needs were so simple. 
                    She enjoyed the full spasm 
                    Of a perfect orgasm 
               By frigging herself on a pimple. 



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3 


A prudish young damsel named Rose 
               Is particular how men propose. 
                    To "Let's have intercourse," 
                    She says gaily, "Of course," 
               But to "Let's fuck," she turns up her nose, 



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4 


On his honeymoon sailing the ocean 
               A tightwad displayed much emotion 
                    When he learned, one fine day, 
                    He'd been fucking away 
               What could have been bottled as lotion. 



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5