Maggie is such a sad sack of shit 
               That no one will tickle her tit. 
                    It would make her so glad 
                    To be had by a lad, 
               Her drawers cream at the mere thought of it. 



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1 


There was a young peasant named Gorse 
               Who fell madly in love with his horse. 
                    Said his wife, "You rapscallion, 
                    That horse is a stallion--- 
               This constitutes grounds for divorce." 



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2 


There was a young girl in Berlin 
               Who was fucked by an elderly Finn. 
                    Though he diddled his best, 
                    And fucked her with zest, 
               She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?" 



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3 


To Italy went Sinclair Lewis 
               Documenting the life led by loose 
                    American drunks, 
                    But he unpacked his trunks 
               'Cause Florence slipped him a goose. 



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4 


There was a young man of Tyburnia 
               Who was fucking a girl with a hernia. 
                    When he shot in her twat 
                    Why, she also shot--- 
               All over him! Wouldn't that burn ya? 



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5