A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy. The big guy says, "I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife?" The accountant replies, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess I'd rather be the husband." The big guy says, "Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick." Send this joke to a friend 1 Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner. The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?" The farmer says, "I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to mount her! Send this joke to a friend 2 Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week." "I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. "Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night." "No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?" "Naturally," she answered, "I take a book." Send this joke to a friend 3 Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security Send this joke to a friend 4 A game check this out! It only takes about 30 seconds. Don't cheat! Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. Keep going! Think of an animal that begins with that letter. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down. Think of a man's name that begins with the last letter in that animal. Say it out loud as you scroll down. Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down. Take the last finger you counted with, shove it up your ass, and get back to work, you stupid game playing bastard! Sent by Zena Send this joke to a friend 5